Brittany, Charitable Donations, Hat

Operation Gratitude 

Earlier today I shipped my donation packages to Scarves for Troops via Operation Gratitude. This year I sent 15 hats in memory of my Sister, Grandfather, and Father. It’s nice to have the space that I was storing them in cleaned out so that I can start over for next year. I’m hoping to create one a week up until donation time next year. 52 hats is an awesome goal!!! 

Updated to show the tags attached to each hat! 

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Brittany, Grieving Loved Ones

1461 days = 4 years

Brittany…

Who You’d Be Today
Kenny Chesney

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
I still can’t believe you’re gone

It ain’t fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I’ve been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you’d be today

Would you see the world, would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Some days the sky’s so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
I know it might sound crazy

It ain’t fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I’ve been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you’d be today

Today, today, today
Today, today, today

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I’ll see you again someday

Someday, someday

Brittany, Grieving Loved Ones

Happy Birthday in Heaven Sissy 

Today would have been Brittany’s 28th birthday 

Grieving Loved Ones

Birthdays in Heaven 

today my thoughts are with loved ones… Daddy, Grandpa, Sweet Baby

Brittany, Grieving Loved Ones

3 Years

 

everything changedSOURCE

* truth – every single relationship I have has changed. Some for the better. Some for the worse. Some I have let go of because I no longer have the time or energy to waste on negativity. My Sister’s passing has changed every aspect of my life. It has changed my relationships with my Mom, Step Dad, Husband, Children, Friends and extended family.

Grieving Loved Ones, Misc. Crafts

Earbud Pouches and a new kitty

This week has been really hard on me emotionally. This time of year is always hard for me anyways and the loss of our beloved cat Socks was almost unbearable. It helps knowing that there was nothing that we could have done for him had we found out that he was sick sooner. It was an illness that he was born with and it had slowly progressed the whole 2 years and 12 days that we had him in our lives. We spoiled him rotten and showered him with attention each and every day. He lived a very good yet short life and he will be forever missed.

We decided to get another kitten not to replace Socks but we just wanted another kitten to love and give a happy home too. I called a local pet store and found out that they had a kitten that had been for sale for almost 2 months. He was the only cat they had in the store. I can’t believe that no one wanted to take him home because he is just the most lovable little creature that you’ve ever met aside from our beloved Socks. He looks so much like Socks that it’s almost scary. If he had been born after Socks had passed away I would have thought that he had been reincarnated.

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Meet Butterball our newest family member.

Butterball is 4 1/2 months old and a sweet little chatty package of personality. He’s even got a cute naughty streak in him. For some reason he thinks toilet paper is to play with. His ears are humongous and it thinks that it needs to be held to go to sleep.

anyways I don’t have a lot in crafty progress this week. I spent a good portion of the end of last week and the weekend knitting on a cute little baby sweater dress for my Cousin’s baby. It’s turning out really cute and I hope to finish it with in the next week.

My emotional stress and grief this week wasn’t really conducive to being creative so I didn’t knit much this week however I did knit most of these little earbud pouches on Monday when I was nervous about Socks breathing problems and then I knit rest of them while we were waiting for news from the Vet on Tuesday morning. They were great nervous no brainer knitting patterns.

20160728-152002.jpgRavelry Notes

Grieving Loved Ones

R.I.P. Socks

PitaPata Cat tickers

Our kitty started having breathing problems on Monday afternoon. When we took him to the vet Tuesday morning we found out that he had FIP and that there was nothing that could be done for him. We were told that he had one to two weeks to live and that it was going to continue to get worse. We made the decision to have him put to sleep so that he wouldn’t suffer any longer. We felt that it would be cruel to bring him home for a few days and then take him back to the dreaded vet. Our veterinarian is awesome but no animal likes to be at the vet.

My heart is broken. Socks was a family pet but he was my cat. I spoiled it rotten and he came running every time I called his name. He spent part of most nights sleeping on my chest with his butt on my head  because he still thought that he was a tiny kitten.

We picked him out, or rather he picked us out on my Sister’s birthday. The first one that had occurred since her passing. I always said that he was my gift on her birthday. His overly affectionate personality was a beacon of light in the darkest days of my grief.

We went to visit him at the vet before they put him to sleep and as I was telling him that I loved him he rubbed my face with his little face just like he did to comfort me in the midst of my grief for my Sister. My loveable cat was trying to comfort me as he was struggling to breath. Socks was an amazing cat and he will be greatly missed by our entire family.

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Brittany, Grieving Loved Ones

Happy Birthday Sissy

birthday in heaven SOURCE

Today would have been my Sissy’s 27 birthday.

Grieving Loved Ones

loss

Yesterday we lost another. A Great Aunt who was really truly great. This quote reminded me of something that one of her Daughter’s in Law said at my Grandfather’s funeral.

Darlene

SOURCE

Brittany, Charitable Donations, Grieving Loved Ones, Hat

Forever 24 – 2015

Today would have been my Sister‘s 26th birthday. Instead of celebrating another year with her I am donating 24 hats to Scarves for Troops in her memory.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRITTANY
I WISH YOU WERE HERE
I MISS YOU SO MUCH
💖 I LOVE YOU SISSY

Forever 24 -2015

Patterns I used:

I think that the Scarves for Troops program which is ran by Operation Gratitude is one of the best charities out there. When I started donating to Scarves for Troops I was looking for something that I could donate handmade goods to simply because I was bored and wanted to make something that I could give back to society. After my Grandfather who served in the Navy during the Korean War passed away from cancer I wanted to do more charity work for Veterans. Then my Sister passed away and I became even more passionate about giving back. Creating hats to donate to those who have served or are serving this great country has given me something positive to do during my darkest of days while grieving my loved ones. This is me trying to find something positive out of a negative.

I encourage you to make something to donate to Scarves for Troops and if you don’t want to make anything they also accept donations of money, toiletries, est… read here for more information!!!!

7a9f3d08dcad752474008713c5314f0fOperation Gratitude hats and scarves should be adult sized and in gender neutral or subtle colors. Scarves that are between 5 and 7 inches wide and 48 to 52 inches long fit best in the care package boxes. We’re asked to leave fringe off of scarves for reasons of packing and wearing ease. Any fiber is acceptable, please be prepared to attach a label to your scarf with care instructions. SOURCE

 

Brittany

Little Elf’s

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The other day was a no-school day so my Daughter and I finished up another little craft project that my Sister had started before she passed away. I am pretty sure that these have been sitting around my Parent’s house for quite a while.

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All I had to do was hot glue the pieces that she had started together.

 

Brittany, Grieving Loved Ones

Grieving a Sibling

Capture

My only sibling passed away 13 months ago today. Loosing Brittany has turned my life upside down & inside out. I have wanted to write a post to share my thoughts on “grieving a sibling” for several months now, but I purposely waited until after the 1 year mark to do so. The post that you are about to read has taken me well over a month to write and yet I still find that it only expresses some of my feelings and emotions. It is the tip of the iceberg so to speak.

Brittany

When a parent dies, you lose the past. When a child dies, you lose the future. When a sibling dies, you lose the past and the future.” UNKNOWN

When my Sister passed away I felt abandoned and alone. I would have liked to have someone contact me. I didn’t want to have to ask for it. I didn’t want to guilt someone into asking me how I was doing. I wanted someone (anyone) to care enough to ask on their own. I understood that people didn’t know what to say. Yet having someone ask “how are you” could have been the difference in between knowing whether or not someone cared or not.

In the 13 months since my Sister has passed I’ve had minimal contact with most of my family and all of my friends. My Paternal Grand Parents, my Step Grandmother, and obviously my parents have been the only people who’ve cared enough to call ask how I am doing. The rest I didn’t see until the next funeral about 12 1/2 months later, and my guess is that I won’t hear from them again until the next funeral.

Then there are those who chose to not even acknowledge my Sister’s death. Those who didn’t go to the funeral. Those who couldn’t even be bothered to send a card, text, or e-mail. Those people who I probably will never intentionally speak to again because they have disillusioned me in the true value of our friendships. I don’t have time for negative people… period….!

Anyways, to get to my point. In darkest days of my grief I only wanted someone to reach out to me. That person didn’t need the right words. They didn’t have to say anything at all. I just wanted to know that someone cared. I wanted to know that that she wasn’t forgotten. Even though everyone else’s world kept spinning while mine had turned completely upside down. The fact that none of the above happened turned me into an angry bitter person who was mad at the world.

Reach out to the world for comfort? Yeah right! After being hurt and abandoned by everyone it was safer to pull into my introverted personality and express myself through my creativity and through my blog. Thank goodness that I have both as outlets.

Today I am not as angry. I don’t have the energy to maintain anger any longer. The disabling brain fog that surrounds the shock of grief has dissipated. Yet at the same time my sense of loss is just as or perhaps even more painful that it was a year ago today. All of the firsts have come and gone. Every family gathering has a big gaping hole without my Sister. I miss her! I miss her! I MISS HER!!!

We as a family aren’t just grieving the loss of my Sister. We are grieving the future that was robbed of us. I will never see my Sister married. I will never be an aunt. Brittany will not be there to see my children grow up and start their own lives. We never get to see Brittany start her own life and family. Every birthday & holiday will leave a sense of emptiness… FOREVER! She’s gone and there isn’t a dang thing that can be done about it.

I am so thankful for my own family especially my children who have continually lightened the mood during my darkest of days. I am thankful for my relationship with my parents as they instilled a certain amount of strength in me. Strength that I didn’t know that I had until I had to use it.

Here are a few links that I have found on Sibling Grief

The Forgotten Griever

Siblings and Grief

Adults Grieving The Death of a Sibling

This one is from a fellow blogger who lost her Brother about a month or so before Brittany passed away.

Friendships in Grief from A Sister Left Behind

  • So if you know someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one today reach out to them. Pick up the phone and call. Ask that person “how are you“. Who cares if you don’t know what to say they don’t either. Your loved one only wants to know that you care, and that you haven’t forgotten why they grieve. Listen to your loved one and let them cry. Another idea is to send a card or something tangible that they can hold in their hands, but most of just be there! Be there consistently!

 

Grieving Loved Ones

Once Again We Grieve

Once again my family grieves the loss of another family member. My Step Grandfather passed away last night. Tonight as I sit and type my mind is full of memories. My Step Grandparents are awesome. When my Mom remarried when I was 3 years old the entire family took me in and treated me as their own even though they didn’t have too. I remember hanging out at their farm with my bonus Grandpa as a kid, eating doughnuts and watching Little House On The Prairie. I remember tractor rides and chasing cats with my cousins.  I remember fishing for bull heads and playing in hay lofts.

The older I get the more I realize that things will never be the same again. There are so many pieces of my childhood that have pasted on and like any puzzle you can’t make new pieces to fit in the old holes. Nothing ever fits back into the shape as it once was.

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SOURCE